Jesus did not give His followers an easy command when He said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). He spoke these words to people living under Roman occupation, where injustice, insult, and loss were not theoretical concerns. To ask how to love enemies is to ask how followers of Christ can obey Him when another person has genuinely wounded, opposed, betrayed, or mistreated them.
Jesus does not ask us to call evil good, pretend pain does not matter, or remain in unsafe situations. He calls us to a different response: one that refuses revenge, seeks the other person’s good before God, and displays the mercy we ourselves have received.
Begin With What Jesus Actually Said
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus contrasted His way with the familiar instinct to love those who love us and reject those who oppose us. “But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 5:44-45).
The reason Jesus gives is striking. God causes the sun to rise “on the evil and on the good” and sends rain “on the just and on the unjust.” This does not mean God is indifferent to evil. Scripture is clear that He judges rightly. It means His common kindness reaches people who do not deserve it. Jesus calls His disciples to reflect the character of their Father.
Luke records the same teaching with concrete examples: do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who abuse you (Luke 6:27-28). Christian love is not merely a private feeling. It becomes visible in words, prayers, and choices.
What Loving an Enemy Is Not
This command is often misunderstood because the word love can sound sentimental. In Scripture, love seeks what is right and good for another person before God. It is not approval, passivity, or denial.
Loving an enemy does not mean trusting an untrustworthy person with access to your life. Reconciliation requires more than one willing heart. It involves repentance, truthfulness, and a growing pattern of faithfulness. Romans 12:18 wisely says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Sometimes peace requires distance, clear limits, or help from wise church leaders and appropriate authorities.
Nor does love require a victim of abuse to remain in danger. Seeking safety, reporting a crime, pursuing justice, and establishing firm boundaries can be acts of truth and wisdom. Jesus Himself did not entrust Himself to everyone, because He knew what was in people (John 2:24-25). His command to love enemies never removes the Bible’s concern for justice or protection of the vulnerable.
Love also does not excuse sin. A parent can love a destructive adult child while refusing to fund destructive behavior. A church member can forgive a serious offense while acknowledging the need for accountability. A believer can speak truth plainly without returning contempt for contempt.
How to Love Enemies in Prayer
Prayer is where obedience often begins, especially when direct contact is not wise or possible. Jesus specifically commanded His followers to pray for those who persecute them. That can feel difficult because hurt naturally turns our thoughts toward what the other person did. Prayer brings those thoughts into God’s presence.
Start honestly. The Psalms show that God welcomes truthful cries from wounded people. Tell Him what happened, how it affected you, and where resentment has taken root. Forgiveness is not pretending the offense was small. It is releasing personal vengeance to the Judge who sees perfectly.
Then pray for what is genuinely good. Ask God to expose sin, bring repentance, restrain further harm, and draw that person to Christ. Ask Him to give them truth, mercy, and a changed heart. If these prayers feel too difficult at first, begin with a simple request: “Lord, do what is right, and keep my heart from becoming hard.”
This is not weakness. It is faith that God is more qualified than we are to judge motives, measure wrongdoing, and administer justice. Paul echoes this principle: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God” (Romans 12:19). The believer does not ignore evil. He or she entrusts final judgment to God.
Choose Good Over Retaliation
Loving enemies becomes practical in the moment of response. Jesus taught, “If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also” (Matthew 5:39). In its setting, this describes refusing to answer insult with insult or humiliation with counter-humiliation. It confronts the human desire to strike back and restore our pride by making someone else hurt.
There are times to speak, appeal, seek help, or address wrongdoing directly. Jesus spoke plainly when He was struck during His trial: “If what I said is wrong, bear witness about the wrong; but if what I said is right, why do you strike me?” (John 18:23). He neither accepted falsehood nor retaliated in kind.
For many believers, this obedience appears in ordinary situations. It may mean refusing to repeat a coworker’s damaging comment. It may mean answering an angry message after prayer rather than immediately. It may mean declining to recruit friends into a campaign of resentment. It may mean offering practical kindness when there is no danger in doing so, without using kindness to deny what happened.
Romans 12:20 gives a memorable picture: if an enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. Such actions do not erase moral responsibility. They place the Christian’s conduct under the authority of Christ rather than under the control of another person’s sin.
Forgiveness Is a Decision That May Need Repeating
Jesus connected forgiveness to the mercy His people have received. When Peter asked how often he should forgive, Jesus answered in a way that rejected keeping score: “seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:22). His following parable warns against receiving a great forgiveness from God while withholding mercy from others.
Forgiveness is not the same as forgetting. Some wounds leave consequences that must be faced with wisdom. It is not always a single emotional event either. A person may choose before God to release vengeance, then need to make that same choice again when memories return.
The foundation is the gospel. At the cross, Jesus prayed for those who crucified Him: “Father, forgive them” (Luke 23:34). Peter later wrote that when Jesus was reviled, “he did not revile in return”; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but entrusted Himself to the One who judges justly (1 Peter 2:23). Christ’s response does not minimize the horror of the cross. It reveals a holy love stronger than human hatred.
Because believers have been forgiven in Christ, they are free to stop making repayment the condition of peace. That freedom may come slowly, especially after deep harm. It is still real, and God patiently works it into the heart.
Let Love Seek Peace, Not Control
We cannot force an enemy to apologize, understand, reconcile, or change. Trying to control those outcomes can keep a wound open for years. Our calling is to obey Jesus in what belongs to us: truthful speech, a refusal to avenge, prayer, wise boundaries, and willingness to pursue peace when it is possible.
Sometimes loving an enemy will lead to reconciliation. That is a beautiful gift, but it should not be demanded or rushed. At other times, love will look like forgiving from a distance while leaving necessary consequences in place. Both situations require discernment.
Ask the Lord to show you the next faithful step. Is there bitterness to confess? A retaliatory word to withhold? A boundary to establish? A prayer you have avoided? The command of Jesus is demanding, but He does not leave His people alone in it. As we remain near to Him, His mercy reshapes our response to those who have hurt us.
Continue by reading the teachings of Jesus in Matthew 5-7 and Luke 6 slowly. Let His words search the heart, and ask Him to form in you the kind of love that points even difficult people toward the Father.
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